so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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