that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
