You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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