On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
