those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
