from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
