Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
