Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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