I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize