you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
