it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
