White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
