Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i was born a porn star she said
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
