yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
