I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
