My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
