Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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