You're earring is so big in my mouth
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
