i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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