My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We are two peas in an std pod
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
