I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
