..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
