He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
