I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
