you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
