Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
