im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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