And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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