I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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