Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
