I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
