The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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