I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
