Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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