Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
