Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think people are normalizing furries
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
