Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
how do flat chested girls get laid?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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