my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
