this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Randomize
