oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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