her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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