he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
