you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
