did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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