she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So vagazzling was a success
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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