Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
