I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize