I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
