The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Floor bacon is actually really good
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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