Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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