omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
