I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
