you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
