THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
someone owes me an orgasm
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize