nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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