Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he fucked my hip out of place.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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