IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
