Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
