Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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