Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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