WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
