You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
